


Light As A Feather

by estriel, MsDaring



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff, M/M, Quad Axel (Figure Skating), Romance, Toronto Cricket Skating and Curling Club, Wedding Banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 15:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20762495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/pseuds/estriel, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsDaring/pseuds/MsDaring
Summary: It’s incredibly beautiful when Yuzu lands it. It’s quite sexy when he doesn’t, gets up, eyes flashing, biting his thumb in thought, and tries again.Javi watches… and is not immune to neither the beauty, nor the appeal of Yuzu’s determination.





	Light As A Feather

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cornerstones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cornerstones/gifts).

> Dear cornerstones, you always bring such gorgeous writing and give such generous, delightful comments. I hope this brightens your day a little! <3 
> 
> MsDaring also sends her warm regards in the form of the illustrations scattered through this fic. (Thank you, Miss B!)

Javi watches. There is an odd comfort in it, one Javi didn’t even know he needed. He has been watching Yuzu for years, and still his eyes never seem to get enough. It is soothing to get lost in the rhythm of Yuzu’s confident strokes, get drawn into the magic he paints with his hands and fingers as he moves through his program run-through. It helps Javi feel more at home, even though Cricket Club feels a tiny bit alien to him now that he’s only a temporary visitor.

Javi watches the stupendous speed with which Yuzu attacks his first jump. With half terror, half awe, he watches, holding his breath. The airtime is incredible – for a moment, Yuzu seems suspended in the air, a mythical creature in flight. Four and a half revolutions later, he lands, and Javi exhales in relief.

The axel looks feather-light from behind the glass panels of the cafeteria, effortless like all of Yuzu’s jumps tend to be. But Javi knows better. He’s been watching Yuzu over the past couple of days. He knows it takes nearly all of Yuzu’s power to land the jump.

He’s seen the terrifying crashes, too. He can imagine how it must feel, falling from  _ that _ – like a bus ramming into you and tackling you to the ground, like a hundred punches delivered to already sore flesh. That Yuzu gets up at all after a failed attempt is a testament to his strength. The fact that Yuzu tries again, and again, slowly but steadily pushing his success rate up, is sheer stubbornness and a show of will that Javi admires. Javi has always known Yuzu was tough as nails, but watching him do this, he cannot help but marvel anew.

It’s incredibly beautiful when Yuzu lands it. It’s quite sexy when he doesn’t, gets up, eyes flashing, biting his thumb in thought, and tries again.

Javi watches… and is not immune to neither the beauty, nor the appeal of Yuzu’s determination. He never really has been, but something has changed during his previous stay at Cricket, just before Europeans. 

Javi is not sure if it was the distance that had made him realize just how much he misses Yuzu. Or if it was Yuzu himself, suddenly more mature, more self-assured, more intense than Javi had ever seen him before, that had finally made him realize what was going on. Or maybe it was him, and the fact that life in Spain was not turning out to be all that he had envisioned.

Either way, when they had sat in a nearby coffee shop last winter, both him and Yuzu slightly awkward because they had never really hung out outside the rink before, Javi had known that things were suddenly different.

It was evident, the way Yuzu looked at him and said “It’s so hard without you,” with a sad little smile, and wistful eyes.

“You seem to be doing okay,” Javi remembers responding, as always on a mission to uplift Yuzu’s spirit.

Yuzu had laughed, a little bitterly, and taken a sip of his green tea. Then he had looked at Javi again, pinning him to the spot with his eyes: “Sometimes, I feel so tired. When you were here, when I was tired and did not want to train, I was still thinking – if I go to rink, I get to see Javi.” Yuzu had looked down a little at that, blushing, and Javi got a glimpse of the top of his head, of the slight cowlick at its center that made Javi want to reach out and run his hand through Yuzu’s hair. “Now is hard, without you.”

Javi had met his eyes then, and felt the first flutter of that  _ something _ in his stomach, feathery and soft. “I miss you a lot, too,” he had said, reaching out across the table to touch Yuzu’s hand briefly, just a brush of fingers.

It had been unsettling to finally look the truth in the eye over the past few months, and admit it to himself – he was in love, and not even sure when or how it had happened.

Fantasy on Ice had caught him in the middle of a relationship crisis – and an identity crisis, if he’s being honest, because Javi has never considered himself  _ gay _ . He is not even attracted to  _ men _ , not really. Just… Yuzu. Yuzu has always been special.

With the awkwardness of that brief summer reunion gone, and his internal turmoil somewhat appeased, Javi now looks at Yuzu with new eyes, finally allowing himself to truly appreciate him. Finally able to fully let himself feel and embrace the emotion that stirs inside him. Just like Yuzu’s quad axel, it is beautiful. And it is terrifying.

*

It’s less awkward now, strolling out of the rink together, heading to the coffee shop. He lets Yuzu order - which Yuzu glares at him for, complaining that  _ your English is better than mine, Javi, why you make me do this? _ Javi only rolls his eyes at Yuzu’s drama, and takes the gentle punch Yuzu bestows upon him in return.

“You got it right, though,” he protests. Yuzu did, indeed, order exactly the coffee Javi always gets. “I didn’t know you knew about coffee.”

Yuzu snorts at that, disdainful. “I don’t care about coffee,” he says. Then his cheeks bloom with pink. “I care about Javi,” he mumbles then, quiet, biting his lip.

Javi smiles at him when he finally looks up again, and this time, when he reaches out to touch, he leaves his fingers there for a moment, cupping Yuzu’s smaller hand on the table between them. His stomach is full of nervous butterflies, heart hammering as he waits for Yuzu’s reaction.

Yuzu stares at their hands, then stares at Javi for a moment, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times, clearly unsure of what to say. Then he simply takes a breath, and beams.

Javi watches the way the smile relaxes Yuzu’s features, wipes off the last trace of that determined intensity that suits and serves him so well on the ice, but perhaps not so well when he should be resting. It is a good look on Yuzu, this carefree lightness.

Javi smiles back and doesn’t stop until they’re nearly done with their drinks. He listens to Yuzu as he talks him through the science behind quints, which he had of course first studied meticulously, then taken to the ice once he was sure it was physically possible.

“You’re amazing, do you know that?” he says then, finally speaking the truth that has been on his mind since he has watched Yuzu in practice for the first time after his arrival. Well, one of the truths, anyway. 

“Not yet,” Yuzu shakes his head, but Javi can tell he is basking in the praise. “Once I land axel consistently. And quint. Then I will be.”

Javi just shakes his head, and doesn’t even protest too much when Yuzu pays for their drinks. He panics then, because now that their little coffee outing is over, it is time to let go, get back home, return to normal – watching Yuzu from afar while he waits for his session with David, marveling at the beautiful lines he creates with his body… And while he cannot get enough of watching Yuzu, he realizes now that he wants so much more of him than just an exclusive insider glimpse of his shiny new quadruple and – apparently – quintuple jumps.

“Let me walk you,” Javi blurts once they’re out of the coffee shop. It is beautiful, the way Yuzu’s face goes from surprise to the warm contentment Javi knows so well – it is the expression Yuzu wears after a good skate, after winning a gold medal. It is also terrifying, because… well, because this suddenly feels an awful lot like a date, and Javi had not quite planned on that. He has never dated a man. He doesn’t know how to do that…

He’s still standing there in sudden paralysis when he feels Yuzu slide his palm against his, then link their fingers. “Walk me, then?” Yuzu asks softly.

Javi nods, focusing on the warmth of Yuzu’s hand in his instead of the thoughts swirling in his head. How should he do this? Should he even do this? What if Yuzu says no? What if he says yes?!

The walk back to Yuzu’s place takes them through a park. It smells of autumn, the leaves are glowing golden in the setting sun and the air is crisp. Yuzu squints into the sun, smiling, trailing a flock of birds that flit across the sky with his eyes. The tips of his nose and ears are pink and his hair is hanging nearly into his eyes, his bangs growing a bit too long again. He looks like a dork… and Javi has never seen a sight so lovely.

“Yuzu,” he says and stops, and instantly blushes at the way his voice comes out, all squeaky.

Yuzu comes to a halt and looks at him. He looks happy. “Yes?”

Javi takes a breath. “Do you – do you want to be with me?” It comes out in a rush and Yuzu blinks at him momentarily before he makes sense of the words.

“What do you mean?” he asks carefully, but Javi can see the tug of a smile at the corner of his lip. He can see the wild hope that lights up his eyes. He sees all that only because he has spent years watching Yuzu, his every move, his every reaction. If he hadn’t, he’d be too overwhelmed to notice anything, too distracted by the way his heart seems to have moved all the way up to his throat, making it hard to swallow.

“I mean –“ he starts, then laughs nervously. He’s not even sure how to word this. He just knows that he  _ wants _ this. Yuzu.  _ Them _ . “Do you want to be my boyfriend?” he says, and if his hand was not still tangled with Yuzu’s, he would smack himself in the face the moment the words leave his mouth. He sounds like a fucking teenager. To be honest, though, he feels like one, too. Scared, nervous, excited. He has had relationships before but somehow, this feels all different, all new. Maybe it’s because Yuzu is a man. Or maybe it’s because it’s Yuzu.

Yuzu’s reaction is not what Javi had expected, though. In the worst case scenario he had imagined, Yuzu would just awkwardly let him down. In the best one, he’d get an enthusiastic yes and an armful of Yuzu.

Yuzu does neither of these things. He just looks at Javi, furrowing his brows, pursing his lips. Then he exhales and speaks, voice tight. “Are you sure, Javi?” he asks. Before Javi can even nod, Yuzu holds up a hand to silence him. It’s trembling. “I mean – you only had girlfriends before…” Yuzu shakes his head a little, his smile turning sad. “This is not same. It will be harder to be with me.”

“I know. I know it will be harder. But Yuzu, I – “ Javi lets out a shaky breath. “I don’t care. It’s worth it. You’re worth it,” he says. Yuzu’s eyes snap to him, and there it is again, the bright twinkle, the budding happiness. It’s the best look Javi’s ever seen on Yuzu, and he’s seen many.

And with that, the floodgate seems to open, and all the words and thoughts Javi’s had over the past several months come spilling out. “I know it’s going to be hard, maybe, but in Spain, it’s not really a problem anymore to be gay. I could marry you and it would be no big deal. I mean, it probably would be a big deal because, well, because you’re you and I’m me, but not because you’re a man. There’s plenty of same-sex weddings in Spain and – “

Then Javi finally catches Yuzu’s stare – his mouth is hanging open, his eyes almost comically wide. And Javi realizes what he has said, what he has started babbling about. He blushes furiously.

“I – um – I’m sorry, I know it’s too soon –“ he stammers. “I didn’t mean to… well, I meant it, I would marry you in the future, but – “

He doesn’t get further than that. Yuzu kisses him, the whole of him suddenly pressed into Javi, his hands in Javi’s hair. His lips are so shockingly soft that Javi thinks,  _ wow, this is not that different _ , but then there’s also the scratch of the faintest stubble on Yuzu’s upper lip, and the solidity of Yuzu’s body against his when Javi finally catches up and pulls him closer, wrapping an arm around Yuzu’s waist. It is  _ different _ , but Javi finds he doesn’t mind, he doesn’t mind at all. He feels as light as feathers, like he could float away if it wasn’t for Yuzu’s grounding presence, keeping him in the here and now, in this moment Javi wishes would go on forever.

But it ends, eventually, and Yuzu pulls away, breathless and pink-cheeked. He laughs, a giddy sound in his throat that makes Javi’s heart skip a beat. “Do you want to come home with me?” Yuzu asks.

Javi looks at him, at the sparkle in his eyes, at the way his hair still sticks out stupidly where Javi knows that cowlick sits on top of his head. He’s radiant in that moment, even more so than when he lands those quad axels. Yuzu is glowing with something Javi realizes is the same thing that has been growing inside his heart for years, and that he’s been uncovering bit by bit recently.

_ Love _ , Javi thinks, and it is beautiful, light as a feather, and not terrifying at all.

“I do,” he says, and follows Yuzu home.

  
  
  



End file.
